Before April 19, 2024, the community came together to help one another for my pronunciation of my First Vows.  This included setting up guestrooms, preparing the liturgy, tidying the garden, etc. They distributed great generosity for this, my last Novitiate Formation in Banteay Prieb.  Every participant engaged with prayer and love to bring Banteay Prieb back to life again.

In the evening of April 19, 2024, we had the Eucharistic celebration for my First Vows.  Present were Monsignor Enrique Figaredo Alvargonzalez, our Provincial Fr. Yongsu Pascal Kim SJ, our Superior Fr. Oh-Chang Kwon, SJ, many Jesuits, Candidates, Magis members, the Ecology team and especially the presence of my mother, who participated with great happiness. Mass was celebrated at the ground floor of Banteay Prieb House, which was decorated in a simple but special way. It made me think about the vow of Poverty. Moreover, the First Fathers, who made their vows, were similarly uncomplicated but very content in their hearts, helped my feelings during the celebration.

Their participation, made me understand that my existence is incredibly unique in my heart, like that at the time the disciples encountered Jesus upon his resurrection.  Actually, so beneficial for you and for me, to worship God together in a way that brings back good memories from the past. After the Mass, I was delighted to see everyone who had come to celebrate today with a smile on their faces and finished dinner with happiness.

Brother Noel was my companion for 1.5 months during the preparation for the First Vows in the Society of Jesus. In fact, he helped me develop the self-skills for everyday life by giving storytelling skills and directing me towards Novitiate Formation at Maria Della Strada. Returning to the Novitiate of Maria Della Strada, I recalled my Master’s advice to “be a good man” before leaving for Cambodia. Jesus taught his disciples the message that said “Love one another as I have loved you.” I believed that if I lived a loving life, I had followed my Master’s advice to “be a good man”. It was like this, I approached my Master in his room and knocked on the door, but there was no muttering. I called out to him, “Father, Father,” and he replied quietly, “Yes, yes.” I gave him a deep hug in front of his room. He informed me that his late advice to “be a good man” is something I will never forget.

After spending two years in the Novitiate, I discovered St. Ignatius’ method of prayer, which I found to be beneficial in my day-to-day activities that connect to God’s love. St. Ignatius also inspired young people by offering the Spiritual Exercises to those who wished to discover God in their life especially while he was studying in Paris.

I also want to talk about this incident that totally changed the way I think about the spirit moving in my head in a positive way. Once I faced the military of Myanmar with guns in their hands, they entered my room to check for something, which could be weapons in my room. They found my clothes, cassock, bible, reflection book, and a cross of Battambang Prefecture. These things and the heart of trusting in God saved me from being fearful of heart and kept me going on my journey as a good novice. Overcoming this, I have found a strength in the letter of St. Ignatius that encourages me to hold on to my spiritual life, St. Ignatius stated that three spirits—own will, evil’s will, and God’s will continue to work in my every single decision. In my day-to-day activities, I am able to understand my reality and recognise the unconscious eco-system moments that need to be filtered well before being put into effect.  One issue is that, even if this part is helpful, my weaknesses still exist and I constantly have to make decisions. Yet, when I take a moment to prevent these movements, my heart feels so calm. Lord, Jesus Christ, please allow me to meet you today and have a deep hug with you.