Richie's letters
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Since my mission as the Delegate of the Korea Provincial for Cambodia Mission began in February 2013, 9 years have already passed. Time flies! Through this reflection, I try to look back on my efforts to search for the Will of God in this journey although I have lots of limitations.
In the beginning, there were many materials that my predecessor had kindly arranged, but I didn’t know what my mission was. The Society of Jesus patiently led me in many ways for me to learn like an infant learning to crawl and take the first step.
The first thing I remember is the experience of participating in the “Provincial School” for two weeks at the Roman Curia. The Society of Jesus invited several newly appointed Provincials and Regional superiors to Rome and kindly explained what the Superior’s roles are and what they are supposed to do. In particular, I was able to learn deeply about the Jesuit “Way of Proceeding” through the 500 years of history, and I was able to build specific and practical experiences through various sharing with other superiors.
Secondly, the JCAP Major Superiors’ meeting, held for one week in January and July of each year, was the most anticipated time for me and an opportunity to learn a lot. We were very sincere on various issues during the meetings. At other times, we ate and drank together with joy and happiness, visited the apostolic places in each country and got new experiences. We also shared stories and found ways to help each other. All were opportunities to share deep friendship among the superiors. There were those who were like a spiritual teacher, who played the role of a mentor, a person like a good elder brother who was generous with complicated requests at any time, and an old friend with whom I could share jokes without any hesitation. So, at the end of each meeting, I was able to find myself growing a little more through the experiences I shared with them.
The most significant experience for me is to participate in the 36th General Congregation in 2016. Attending the General Congregation was an opportunity to experience countless graces: the moment Fr. Nicholas resigned as Fr. General with an edifying humble attitude, the 3 days of murmurationes in which all the participants strongly felt the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the joy of electing the new Fr. General, Fr. Arturo Sosa, the words of Pope Francis to us, experiencing the movement of the Holy Spirit who led the General Congregation through the Spiritual Conversation, and many others.
Just as there were a lot of happy experiences in 9 years, I also faced many difficulties and had some moments when I wanted to run away from the position. In the last three years especially, many difficult situations followed me strangely. I had no choice but to close Banteay Prieb, the most representative apostolic work in Cambodia. The process of structural change of the Cambodia Mission inflicted many wounds among us and many of our Cambodian staff left us because of it. Looking back, these were truly heart-breaking moments. As time passed and I looked back on these moments, there were more realizations and more graces in those difficult times. Realizing that there was nothing I could do, I relied more on God and I found myself praying more than ever before.
Through these various experiences, I came to understand better the mission of a Jesuit superior. Although there are several ways of leadership, what I have learned from my experience is that the first task of a Jesuit leader is “Servant Leadership,” that is, to serve Jesus and the others first. It was a great blessing to me to be able to feel and realize this fact.
Therefore, whenever I look back at any moment in the past 9 years, the first question I always ask is, “Is what I am doing a priority for the Lord and my brothers and sisters who are with me?” Of course, in many cases, I forgot that fact and went my way, but I still could not forget this important question, and I was able to repeat it in my mind and heart.
The fact that I was able to maintain this attitude for the past 9 years is a testament that even though there were moments when I forgot the Lord, the Lord never forgot me. In a way, it made me think that these experiences in themselves may have been moments that somewhat coincided with the identity of a Jesuit, defined by the 32nd General Congregation as, “one is a sinner, yet called to be a companion of Jesus.”
In conclusion, I realize that my attitude toward the Society of Jesus has also changed. After 9 years of deep experience in the Society which puts “following the Lord” at the centre of all their activities, I no longer want anything from the Society. I have received so much from the Lord and the Society. Therefore, there is nothing I want to do more than to give first priority to what the Society wants me to do.
On March 31st, all the heavy burdens will be laid down, and I will leave for a one-year sabbatical. First of all, I want to rest well and have time to recharge. I believe that this period is not simply to rest, but a new mission given by the Society. The new mission will be “to prepare myself more for Jesus and the Society of Jesus.
Delegate of the Korea Provincial to Cambodia Mission (2013 ~ 2022)