When I was leaving the Ecology Program nursery in Kambol, Phnom Penh, late afternoon of 30 July, I felt gloomy. It dawned on me at that moment, that I had to say goodbye to the life I embraced for the past three years: my life with the Ecology Program team — whom I considered my family; the nursery that we built together — which I called my home; and the three local community partners — with whom we shared the same dream of caring for our common home. In a couple of days, I was going to leave all of them behind. I had to stop, pray and lovingly glance to say goodbye.

Until now, nearly 2 months after I left, memories of Cambodia are still alive. There are different emotions coming into play — sadness, joy, anger — but the most dominant one is that of gratitude. In my stay of three years and three months, I would like to share three gifts I am most grateful for.

Firstly, I was welcomed and treated as a family member. Living in a foreign country with a very different language, culture and traditions from my own is not easy. But the Cambodians’ openness and gentle ways eased me into the strangeness of it all, and soon I found myself feeling quite at home. There was trust, respect, love and concern shared within the Ecology Program Team and with our three local community partners — Kbal Khla Community, in Prey Lang; Phatsanday Middle School in Stung Sen; and the Bunong indigenous community in Mondulkiri. I got to know the families of our team members and was able to spend time with them. The team was likewise invited to the local communities’ homes, sharing meals with their families, playing with their children and exchanging stories with them.

Secondly, the team and I were able to work with the local communities within an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect, and shared dreams. We were lucky to have partners who were leaders of their communities and at the same time passionate about environmental conservation. They led, we followed! Our partnerships were not confined to activities such as tree-planting, forest-patrolling, tree-ordaining, mentoring and doing scientific studies, but also in sharing their lives as well. We became friends. And somewhere in our work together, I also felt the hand of God. As Rolheiser said, “Work, like prayer, is a privileged way to get to know God because, when we work, we are toiling in partnership with Him.” That is how I felt; we were cooperating in the work of God.

Lastly, I was graced with seeing and feeling the loving face, the incomprehensible love of God, in the Khmer people. This was actually the prayer and wish of an old spiritual father for me, and indeed it was granted. This is the reason why it was quite easy for me to extend my initial plan of one year of volunteer work in Cambodia to more than three years. Life and work were not so easy, but I did feel God’s presence every day. The Khmer people were my source of consolation and they taught me ways of living that will remain with me — to take things slowly, to do things as a team, and to trust completely. As they would say, “Aut panyaha, aut ey te, bong srey!” (No problem, it is nothing, sister!)

To be honest and fair, there was only one dark stain during my whole stay in Cambodia – the circumstances around my departure. I did not have the privilege of having a smooth ending. I had to leave earlier than I initially planned and was not able to prepare for the continuation that was needed and I very much desired. Then there was COVID-19, which prevented me from saying proper goodbyes to my Khmer families and friends.

In the end, it was a good run! In general, I was happy with my stay, the consolation from the Cambodians outweighing the desolation. I will be forever grateful for the opportunity that I had of working in the Lord’s vineyard.